Stinky Dead-not-Dead Peoples in Phirul: Skeletons, and Kruthik, and Drake, and Zombies, Oh My!

August 7, 2008 at 10:45 pm (Uncategorized)

Day 7: reserved


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Stinky Dead-not-Dead Peoples in Phirul: The Price is Right!

August 7, 2008 at 10:42 pm (Uncategorized)

Day 6: reserved

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Stinky Dead-not-Dead Peoples in Phirul: Is Magical Cloak Closet in Sewer? Peoples Here Must be Rich!

August 7, 2008 at 10:41 pm (Uncategorized)

Day 5: reserved

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Stinky Dead-not-Dead Peoples in Phirul: A Bakers Doesn’t?

August 7, 2008 at 10:38 pm (Uncategorized)

Day 4: reserved

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Stinky Dead-not-Dead Peoples in Phirul: All is Well That Ends….Well, it Just Ends.

August 7, 2008 at 10:37 pm (Uncategorized)

Day 3: reserved

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Stinky Dead-not-Dead Peoples in Phirul: Dawn of the Stinky Dead-not-Dead Peoples

August 7, 2008 at 10:34 pm (Uncategorized)

I am wake on morning the second thinking is all bad dream.  Is not so.  Here we make to be, on roof, which I am having to say is many comfortable for roof.  I am never staying on roof before, but this was no so bad.  I was just making to wish that screaming and crying would stop.

These people are not understand.  Raven Queen has written fate long before we are made born.  Peoples on roof cry, and make say “Why is this happening?” or scream in  middle of night “We are all going to die!”, I even hear peoples say they are so unlucky!  Can you believe?  They make think they are now unlucky?  Is no luck, is only what is.

Raven Queen weave life in great quilt.  Is already decide.  All things make to pass as Raven Queen make it so.  I know I am not many smart man, but I even am knowing this.  Is why I am have no fear.  I make explain this to innkeeper Jeffrey.  I am not know why he look so scare when I tell him “I am no scare.  We are all dead, already.  Is nothing to fear.”  Maybe I leave talk to Arnold.  I think I make Jeffrey cry after I tell him this.  Arnold is more good at make people feel better.

Is on this day after stinky dead-not-dead peoples awake that we meet “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”.  Is many days before I realize what he is saying.  I just think he has cold and make to clearing throat.  I am think, maybe this is how dragon-people cough.  Is Arnold make explain is not so.  Old scaly man introduce himself as “The Absurd One”.  Is only after many days that Arnold explain his name is “The Abzurian”.  For many days, I am think this is crazy dragon-person, and people give him nickname of “Absurd”, since he make no sense, and does nothing but hold torch.  Is good for me to meet Arnold.  He explain me much!

Absurd One, though, have nice “make no stinky-dead-not-dead-peoples see me” spell.

I think maybe this is joke, like when Arnold give me cloak that he says make me not seen on Laughing Skua.  “Put this on yer back, Viggo, and no one wil see ye!”, he told me.  I am so excite to make joke, I put on cloak right away.  Arnold then make gasp and tell me, “That’s the most incredible thing these ‘alfling eyes’ve seen since Aunt Gertrude…” I make forget the rest, but Arnold is always making tales of Aunts and Uncles, is hard to keep track.  Next thing, Arnold is saying, “Too bad I can see yer clothes.”, with a many disappointed look.  So, I am think I am many clever, because I take off my clothes and Arnold gasp, “Viggo, where’d ye go?”  Is not so funny when Captain catch me naked in storeroom with keg of rum in hands.  I am make clean ship and nightwatch for two month for this.  Arnold is good friend, he make to do watch with me, and help cleaning.  I can see he feel bad, but is OK.  I am like joking too.  As I say, is what is.  All things are make happen for reason.  Raven Queen see to this.  Is probably for this I see Sahuagin raiding party, but this is tale for another time.

So, when Absurd dragon-person make spell of “make no stinky-dead-not-dead-peoples see me”, I ask Arnold if is true.  He shrug shoulders, he is no stinky-dead-not-dead-person, how can he know?  Ah well, is what is.  So, I am think I am no seen by stinky-dead-not-dead-people, and I go to get food.  It works.  So we are have food for one more day, but “make no stinky-dead-not-dead-peoples see me” spell, make me sick.  I am feel weak from magicks.  I am tell this to Arnold, and am wonder if dragon-person is ally or no.  Time, only, will tell.  Is what is.

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Stinky Dead-not-Dead Peoples in Phirul: Is Not Such Good Job Arnold Find!

August 7, 2008 at 10:26 pm (Uncategorized)

Is long time ago when Arnold find us new job in Phirul.  I remember it well, though.  Is was just a few days after we save goat that Arnold say we will make much gold for some frontier lady named Aniia.  We are to make meet her in golden Gryphon!  Is such coincidence, because is where we stay.

But is very strange job Arnold make arrange for us.  We get no pay, no food, even, and now we must make to save many many peoples.  We make to meet Arnold contact in Golden Gryphon. There we are make friends of Cleric and Dwarf. Arnold seem to like them, so I make to like them too.

Is when I make introduce properly to new friends when funny dead people come into Inn.  Arnold seem very scared, and attack them right away, so I think maybe I should too.

We make to fight the bitey dead people. They even make to turn others into bitey dead people. Is very strange. We fight in inn, we fight on stairs, we fight upstairs. Even I make to bring everyone on roof for to be safer.

Is on roof I see all horrible things that bitey people are doing. Even dog make to chase goats down street! Is better not be my goats or I make anger. I cannot worry for this now, we have many to save. I have many sadness for we are losing Annabelle to zombieness. She has taken bite, and Arnold says that this is how more Zombies are made. I do not know why they do not make happy time like everyone else to make more of same. I guess what is, is.

So, we make little shelter, and make rest for night. Will be long day tomorrow to escape from city with these people. Arnold and myself can do it, I think, easily, but so many people will make this much difficult.

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The Golden Gryphon (Part IV)

July 5, 2008 at 1:58 am (Uncategorized)

[continued from]

I was in many shock when magicky elf make to help me. He is very brave for skinny elf. He make big sausage man sink in green goopy puddle. It make to remind me of hoidjmash tojash, special cabbage soup my mother make. Is also very green, and has much sausages cut into it. If not for smell of stinky pants man, it would have made me very hungry.

Is for me big surprise when I hear people warning of avalanche. Is nice of them for warn me in my language. We are nowhere near mountain, but I think people here know better than me when avalanche is coming, so I make to run. Poor little mama goat is almost trample, so I pick her up, and we all run into gate to shelter from avalanche.

Is inside I finally see Arnold on top of hay cart, smiling his big grin. Many people are making gather around me, still talking about avalanche. Still, I can hear commotion outside of gate, it must be peoples caught in avalanche. This makes me sad, but for now I must think of goat.

So, I put mama goat in hay cart next to Arnold, and ask for him to keep her warm. Man who own hay cart is very nice, but he is still talking about avalanche. I know here we are safe, so I make to tell him in my tongue “druuuuyd ni djelder”. It means in common, “no more danger from avalanche”. When I say this, he gets all excited and leads me to many big inn. He say, now in his tongue, to stable-boy that goat must have stable, and druuuuyd is to have best room in inn, and he will pay. Why he is still talk about avalanche, I do not know, when I make to ask, Arnold look to me and tell me to care for goat, while he makes arrangements. I think man with hay cart is little bit crazy for pay room for avalanche, but Arnold will make him right, I think. As I leave I hear man ask to Arnold for blessing from druuuuyd. I am guessing these people make worship avalanches.

So, I am make bring mama goat into stable just in time. Mama goat is giving birth to two black goats. Is such a wonder! I am coming outside to see Arnold for to make tell the good news, when I see great crowd gathered around. Is funny, because when crowd sees me they yell out again, “virt u-us druuuuyd!”. I make look around for signs of avalanche, but there is nothing. these city people are very strange. Maybe they are mean avalanche of people, I don’t know. I am telling everybody there is many good news, twin goats are being born in stable. Everybody make cheer, and Arnold make to yell: “the prophecy is fulfilled, the city is saved!”

Is funny thing happen right then. People make to give us coin. Much people make clapping me on back, and say thank yous with hugs and kisses. Arnold makes pass around hat and collect many copper, some silver and even two piece of gold.

Is many people are make to ask what are names of “prophecy goat”. I am wonder what “prophecy goat” is, but I do not ask for not to be looked at stupid. I look back to little baby goats, and see them chewing on post in stable. So, I see one gnashing, the other grinding on fence post. Is when it come to me. I call them Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr; in common tongue is called Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder.

Is many people come to stable to see baby goats. Arnold is quick to make charge coin to visit babies. I think it is good idea, so not too much people come at once, it would make to scare little goats. This night I make stay in stable with goats to make sure they stay safe. Arnold he says he will stay in room in inn to not be impolite. I understand this, so wish him good night.

Is next morning I wake to find big sausage man at door of stables. He is look very shameful. He says to me “Virt u-us druuuuyd” (I look around for avalanche, these people are very confuse) “please take this gift, and accept my humblest apologies. If you could find it in your heart to forgive a foolish old merchant and bless my business, I’d be most grateful”, and he make to hand me a much big bag of sausage. I must have to say, I am confuse by this, but I tell him “OK”.

He is made very pleased by this. He take my hand in both of his and smile, and he makes to keep on saying thank you for many minutes. These people are not so much bad, it looks like.

Arnold come into stable many hours after. He has very many crumb on his shirt, and I see his belly is many full. He has much big steaming mug of black water in his hand. He makes tell me it is coffee. Is very exotic this drink. Bitter taste, but it make my heart many excited. I feel it is jumping inside my chest. He make tell me he has make contact yesterday night in inn. He tells me there is job in need of my arm and his brain…


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The Golden Gryphon (Part II)

July 4, 2008 at 11:24 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

[ continued from ]

Is not many things to make me angry. Sure, I make to get mad many times, but not so much make me angry. Is time Ephraim kick my kitten “Four-down-and-one-in-a-tree”. Is why Ephraim make to be called “One Ear”, now. I still make apologies for that because he says he not kick, but make tripping over cat. Then there is time that I catch Teufel Laichen make kill bear in Valley of Kuz for to take genitals for evil spell. Is his horns that make pommel of swords. But most angry I am is when man kicking poor goat at gate when I and Arnold we come to gates of Phirul.

I and Arnold we make to walk to the gates of Phirul. Is story for another time of how we make to lose horse in game of chance. Back to tale: Arnold was telling me story of dying horse on fire in a race when I am hearing goat. We come closer to make see that she is very much hurting when we see her in middle of road. Anyone can she she is making ready to have babies on road. Is not nice man who make to move this and other goat off the road. Is this when he make to kick her.

I make remember now, Arnold is begin to say “Viggo…” before he is finishing I am running. Is with big jump I make to many hurt this man who kicks goat. I am never hearing such squishy sound as when my boot is in kicking man’s stomach. I can notice by smell that man has make soil his pants from my kick to his belly. I have to be saying, this make me less angry, and I make begin to laugh. He is so tough with goat, but cannot even take little kick.

Is not good for me to be so distract by laughing. Arnold is always making to tell me to pay attention, but this time I am not listen. Is good for me that Arnold is there to be watching for me. Man’s friend he come to hit me with sword from behind. Arnold is too fast for him. I hear crack behind me, and am turn to see man on ground with sword in hand and bleeding from knee. I see Arnold make juggle some rocks as he looks to me, wink and then and make motion behind me. Is crowd begin to gather to make see commotion. Is not everybody happy to see this. Both mans on ground seem to have friends in crowd.

Man who make stink in pants make to crawl to his friend on ground, who is joined by big man with cart. Is long time I have not seen such a big man. Not since Arnold make to win big money prize in famous purple grumbleberry pie eating contest, and take championship from Antaino Bedenetto “The Fat” in port of Chay on Ward Kaloni, have I make seen man so big. This one, is not so jolly as Antaino. He is become red in face as stinky pants man point to me. So, big man, he push his sausage cart to the side of road and make to pull big cleaver from sack. This too, I have never seen so much big cleavers.

I make to look at Arnold, but little friend he just shrugs shoulders, and open eyes wide with surprise. Next thing I know, I am on ground. Fat sausage man he has take long links of sausage and used like whip to wrap around Viggo’s legs. He is many strong because he pull legs out from under me. So, here am I, on ground, legs wrapped in sausage, and goat is making to have babies next to me while stinky pant man keeps on yelling something to sausage man in language I do not know. Is good thing Arnold is there, because big man is coming after my head with cleaver.

[continued at]

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Is good to be back at the Inn, no?

June 22, 2008 at 6:21 am (Uncategorized) (, )

I make to practice my Common speech of the Isle if Quirm. I make much journal to tell tales of journey across Frozen Sea to meet my destiny.

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